………………..
By Bishop Shin
Love suffers long and is kind; love
does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.
Does
not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
Does
not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth;
Bears
all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love
never fails…………………………… ( I Corinthians
13:4-8a)
When
people fall in love at first, it all seems rosy and enjoying. The joy, peace
and enthusiasm one feels is unexplainable. Our whole world takes a new turn and
everything seems so bright and wonderful. We hope and pray that this new
feelings never ends or stops.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always stay that way. Things
sometimes takes a downward dive and we seem to wonder what went wrong. Was it
the same person we fell in love with it? How did we get to this stage where we
only tolerated each other?
This is a common scenario is most relationships now. It all
starts well and looks so wonderful but over a period of time we both start
drifting apart until we have no other choice than to separate so we can have
our peace.
This problem in our generation can be avoided. We can have
the most enjoying relationships if we really understood the word ‘love’.
In the scripture text that was used in the opening, the author
carefully summarized what it means to be in love. A lot of people enter into
relationships without a clue as to what love entails or requires. The most
powerful force on earth is love. It can break every obstacles and barriers and
liberate the grieving or lonely soul.
Many people don’t take the time to understand it, to learn
about it, to accept it and to live it. A lot of people say love is not enough
in a relationship. That’s wrong. Love is more than enough to sustain any and
every relationship if it is understood and practiced.
Love is not passive.
Love is active. It is an action. Instead of talking, it goes out to demonstrate
or get it done. Love is not in romantic words and sweet talks. Love is not in
gifts and material things. Love is not in celebrations and feelings. Love has
very little to do with feelings.
Love is the act of prioritizing
another person’s happiness, well-being, peace and wholeness as you would do for
yourself. Love is being able to feel the pain and joy of the other person as if
it was yourself. If you can’t do this, then you are not ready for a loving
relationship.
Let’s look at the summary of love as
described in our opening lines.
I.
LOVE IS LONGSUFFERING: Long
suffering is the ability to endure. Most at times certain things your partner
does can put you off. Love is able to endure all the shortcomings of your
partner. As long as humans are not perfect and mistakes are bound to happen
from any of us, the ability to endure and tolerate each other without giving up
is a true sign that love is at work. Love suffers long. It doesn’t give up
easily neither does it get tired of helping. Can you endure the shortcomings of
your partner?
II.
LOVE IS KIND: The
act of always offering a helping hand to other is a sign of kindness. Love
always looks out for the welfare of others and works to make it possible for
others to be happy or comfortable. Love
is all about sharing. It’s about being there for each other. It’s about being kind to your partner.
Kindness is being tender and considerate with a helpful nature. Be willing and
ready to offer a helping hand to your partner when they need it. Don’t act
unconcerned.
III.
LOVE DOES NOT ENVY:
Envy, a feeling of grudging admiration or spite and resentment at the success
of another. There are some people who envy their own partners. Love does not
envy. Love is proud. Its happy and revels in the success of the other person.
Love encourages and wish the very best for the other and never wishes to see
them downtrodden. Love is happy at the success of their partner. Envy shows the
absence of love. Envy brings strife and hatred and these oppose the spirit of
love. Do you seek the success of your partner? Do you envy your partner because
they are doing better than you?
IV.
LOVE IS NOT PUFFED UP:
Being puffed denotes pride. Speaking in a scornful manner. Love doesn’t parade itself
as the ‘boss’ whiles looking down on everyone else or making everyone else feel
inadequate. Such behavior is not love. Most men believe this manner of behaving
solidifies their authority as the man of the house. Some resort to harsh words
and derogatory remarks to prove they are the head. This act on the contrary
shows the lack of love and respect one has for their partner. Be proud of your
partner not to them. Boast about your partner, not to them. As a loving
partner, don’t do or talk in a manner that will make your partner feel less
inadequate before you. Be considerate. Be kind to them. Do you make your
partner feel this way around you?
V.
LOVE DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN:
The greatness virtue is the spirit of selflessness. It’s the biggest anyone can
get from another person and it’s a demonstration of love at work. Love is
selfless. It doesn’t seek its own benefits only. It is considerate of the
feelings of others too. Love shares even the smallest thing just to make the
other person comfortable and happy. A selfless partner makes the needs of their
partner important. The needs of each of us differs. Being able to make time for
your partner even though you are busy or tired is love. Sometimes you feel like
being alone but your partner seems happy and wants to talk or play or have some
fun. You put away your sad mood and joins them to have fun. That is love. Love
is when you do things you had no desire of doing just to see the other person
happy. Love is selfless. Are you selfless? Are you always demanding that things
be done your way?
VI.
LOVES THINKS NO EVIL:
I have seen some people saying bad things about their ex. Some go as far as
pronouncing curses on them, harming them and some even kill. Love does not
think of such evil things. Domestic abuse, verbal abuse and all sorts of bad
treatments in some relationships and still say they love the person. Any act
that causes pain or that is evil can never be love for love is kind and considerate.
Love is being able to feel like the other person is feeling as if it was your
own self. Even during a break up, you will never wish evil for the other person
because you love them. Do you cause your partner pains willingly?
VII.
LOVE IS NOT PROVOKED:
Anger is a common bane among humans in the society. It’s easy to get people
angry and such attitude must never enter a relationship. Be conscious of the
fact that your partner is not you. Accept the fact that both of you were raised
differently and such will act and do things differently from the way you do
them or want them done. Don’t get angry or irritated if your partner doesn’t do
things the way you want or expect them. In a gentle and loving manner, teach
them the way to do it. Anger is bad for any relationship and if allowed to go
on for long will cause you both to drift apart instead of getting closer. If
you are quick-tempered, work on it. Learn to be gentle. It won’t be easy but
it’s possible. Do it for your partner. Do it for yourself. Are you
quick-tempered? Does your partner irritates you at the least things?
VIII.
LOVE NEVER FAILS:
Love never fails. It’s unending. People say there is a thin line between love
and hate. Love and hate are the north and south poles. They will never meet,
neither will they cross to each other. You can’t love someone today and hate
them tomorrow. It’s not possible. Even if you are angry or upset with them over
something, the love will still be there unless you never loved them in the
first place. Love can stand every barrier and obstacles that will rise up. Love
is more than enough to overcome everything. It will always find a way. It will
always go the extra mile to get things done. Are you in love? Is your love
failing?
One will note that I didn’t use the
phrase ‘true love’. This is because there is no true love or fake love. There’s
only love. It’s either you are in love or you just playing around.
The point listed above are for
people who wants to understand love and live in love. I believe love should be
mutual. This makes it easier to practice these points given since both partners
will be learning from it and be making efforts to make their relationship as
loving as possible.
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